January 18th, 2009
sometimes i look in a window to another life
and wonder how come
why isn't that me
why aren't i making herb garden spirals
and happy flower posters about compost
and cooking with a crew of folks each night
why with all this time do i accomplish so little. partially because i want to do those things with other people.
yes collective houses can be busy and not give enough personal space.
i want. at least right now. when my home is not so much a sanctuary as an isolation space.
i know i have friends and family and all sorts of folks i could spend time with if i just pick up the phone...
or say yes to invites.
i don't know why that's so much harder.
I understand. The allure of all those faces happy to see you and share your space with you. The family you choose. I understand.